DDoSed, yupp God’s got a capacity problem!

So in the shower earlier today, where most of my epiphanies happen, I realised why the world is screwed and there’s something we all can do about it. Pray a little less. Yeah less, not more. God, that poor old chugger up there is overwhelmed.

Actually I’m headed to a Holy communion of a dear friends son a little later and the thought that ignited this realization was “when was the last time I ever visited a mosque?”. I happened to know exactly when that was, 27 June 2008. Ria, the elder daughter was about to be born (about a week later) and my mom had come down to help us out with the introductions. She insisted that I go and bribe the old fella (God) with some donations to the orphanage. I flat out refused. She said OK I’ll go figure it out and take care of it. She even called up the driver and asked him to go find out where the local orphanage was. I couldn’t do much in terms of refusing after that could I? So there I was at the masjid with a bundle of clothes, a tonne of grains and a pair of old sandals on my feet …the last time before 27 June 2008 I had been to the mosque my brand new Woodland sandals had been flicked… I was naive to have worn them to a place of worship but then that just broke my faith in humanity even more than it was already shot… so yeah that was then. After that Ria was born and then Ira as well (four years later in Ira’s case my mom wasn’t around to bully me, she was on a Haj pilgrimage or maybe painting the town red in NewYork on one of her legendary vacations)… So yeah that was/is my recollection of the conventional, acceptable interactions via humanly ordained protocols that I’ve had with the old man (older man… woman, both knoweth who careth who)

Life has been perfectly wonderful so far. Not a single regrettable decision, nothing that I would change. However, in the traditional sense my conversation with God has been absent so yeah I guess I have the devil to thank for my perfect life so far. Except I don’t think so. Who ordained ostentatious rituals? Who made it mandatory to be so overt about your religious beliefs? You may say it is written well who wrote it down? While handing it down over the centuries did they make sure that the original message was not lost in translation and a Chinese whisper didn’t creep in? Blasphemous almost to question the practices of humans but hang on did I even once say anything about God? No I am just rambling on along about humans and their absurdities. The frailties and the abject horror that drives the hordes to God. As someone who refuses to believe the interpretations of God by other humans I could be called an agnostic but maybe unlike an agnostic I do have my own interpretation, that of an equal. How else do the believers explain Justin Bieber I mean “there is God in everyone”? If there is God in everyone then there is by reverse integration the possibility that there is everyone in God as well ergo everyone==God. QED.

My interactions with God are a daily, constant affair. It’s an ongoing conversation where I do not talk like a greedy shyster asking for more and more and more and more every single time. It’s more on the lines of an equal. Why do you think the poor old man made humans? He was lonely and they didn’t have facebook back then. He needed someone to appreciate his creations (the Sun, moon, stars, flowers, food, animals, etc .etc .etc.). There were not many likes and and comments coming onto his celestial Insta feed, let’s face it, none. So he made humans to get feedback and appreciation to feel validated for having done what he had done with the universe. For what is the joy in just creating stuff when no one is using it and benefiting from it. The joy of giving is in the utility that your gift brings to the receiver. In the creation of humans God was in my opinion trying to build his Instafam (I am not on social media but I think Instafam is what it’s called). Buddies who could have a conversation and give him honest feedback on his work. Not sure if grovelling masses is what the poor sot had in mind when he started out.

So anyway back to my epiphany. The realization was that the world is shot and we’re on a greased toboggan down a slippery slope going from bad to worse at a crazy speed. Everywhere one looks there is strife. It’s as if God has abandoned humans. How did that happen when there is so much of religion, so much of prayer all around us? If anything the amount of prayer that’s going up lately is exponentially more than what was going up a century back. In fact it’s been institutionalized with all the via mediums who have cropped up, gurus, babas, clerics, maulvis and what have yous. So by the logic proffered to us from all the pulpits we should actually be doing better not worse with all the extra prayer that’s going up. But no, that is not happening because there’s so much evident dis-satisfaction around. Why is that? A Denial of Service Attack is in progress and with all the load balancers (multiple Gods for multiple people) and even with the firewalls (human created rituals and procedures) the one up there is unable to keep up.

We need to slow down and give the poor fellow some breathing space. Stop asking for help with everything from a safe crossing of a road to the lopping off of your boss when you’re running late. Keep the prayers for the really important stuff. Like for instance I will be praying one of these days to ask for divine intervention in the CAA-NRC mess that our wonderful country has landed itself into. That in my opinion is something worth asking God to intervene in.